I don’t know what happened.
But I do know that-
We aren’t like how we used to be
I feel there is something between us
A wall-
We aren’t like the best friends we used to be
I miss that
It’s a promise not a label but why do I feel like
-one of us broke the promise?
Im really sad
This shouldn’t be happening
But I don’t know how to fix this mistake
No matter who made it
I don’t understand either
Is it because of the new students?
That you’ve been further from me?
We don’t have a lot to talk about now
The other day u went looking for him
And left me in the library
All that seems to be on your mind lately is him
I know may seem like that lately
but its just on [a]im
I confess part of what I feel is jealousy
But
I had always thought, friends before boys
Its ok
I might be looking at this from the wrong direction
Its ok
I don’t need you to clarify
All I want is for us to be like how it used to be
Inseperable best friends
I don’t see you often now
You are always talking so happily with some other person
Me forced to be talking to the others as well
When you look at me, it feels like you have a barrier in your mind
I can’t tell what ur thinking
When you smile at me
Im offended
Because
You are smiling your fake smile.
I can tell
And that makes me sad
What im trying to say is not your happiness that bothers me
Its just that
I don’t seem to be the one and only
You have no need of me
Because
There is always someone else to take my place
Im not special
I realize that
Because
I don’t have any special skills to show off
Im just the person that criticizes you
And the person who understands you. Second best
Im the person who is not really the only random person
Because
There will always be someone better than me
Am I still your best friend?
Or am I now a friend in the hallway you say hi to?
Maybe
I shouldn’t do all this anymore
And what you want to tell me
Is that
Maybe im too attached
I think
I should just back off and give you more room now
I just hope you remember that for me
A best friend is always a best friend
No matter what happens
Because-
my fucked up ‘loyalty
keeps me from finding a better you
just because
I really cant
Even if I weren’t so loyal
You’ve been a great friend
I hope to see you soon
The real you, that is.
-Tainted
ps: i wrote this on the morning of 9/18 on the bus
the facts may be slightly changed by now.
the whole thing may have changed
but i want u to know what i thought. cuz its all about my thoughts here.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I'm not offended by what you said, because it's all true. But I need to let you know, that just because we're best friends, doesn't mean that we can't be with other friends for a while. It's not that I don't want to be friends with you. I am aware that I'm slipping, and I'm trying to find a way to fix that. Your quote about friends over love is true at times. I know that. But it's really hard--because I know he doesn't care for me and that we're just friends. I have been trying to get back closer to you, and it's not easy for me. I felt that being with you for 2 years has left me to thin chains with a few of my other friends or ones I've never really had a chance to get close to. It causes several problems for me in multiple classes as it makes me less social to those I don't know as well, so I've been attempting to build it up. I really do understand your jealousy. Honestly I've felt it a lot.
But I need you to understand that I don't give plastic smiles to friends like you.
Post a Comment